Catharsis

I have felt so film sick lately.

I was sitting on my computer a couple weeks ago and for some reason I couldn't remember who was the main creator of a 1950's French magazine Cahiers du cinéma. Now as frivolous as this may sound, I felt overwhelmingly devestated. It was like at that moment everything I had loved and learned in school was forgotten and not real. 

A lot of you may be unaware that I majored in Media Arts (Film) at BYU because I don't post about it on facebook, spend my weekends creating motion pictures, or verbally display a large broad knowledge of cinema. I'm a little embarrassed that dozens of my former colleagues are still creating artistic masterpieces, expanding their resumes, posting about the latest Final Cut Pro updates, and becoming seriously successful while I have nearly stepped completely out of my previous role as a film editor. I do not mean to compare or complain about my role as a mother, but just my chosen lack of employment. I have purposely and full-heartly decided to put that part of my life on hold, so why am I ashamed?

I learned a few things about myself in film school. I learned that while I do enjoy making movies (production), I felt my calling was in post-production. I love spending day and night in a dark room with at least two large screens and headphones. I felt like I was creating worlds, like Cobb and Mal in INCEPTION. I loved collaborating with creative minds and learning from my friends. I loved holding that finished product in my hand, something tangible and substantial. 

Later, my favorite classes focused on film history (often taught by Darl Larsen). I was addicted to constantly exposing myself to films of other cultures and time periods, watching as many as 2 or 3 a day. That lifestyle was entirely uplifting, intellectually edifying, and spiritually enlightening for me. A word that I too often used in papers was "catharsis" as described by Aristotle in chapter 6 of Poetics. He describes drama as a supply of relief or purification from emotion, resulting in a feeling of fulfilled  pleasure. That is film for me.

So now that I go on 2 years (coincidentally the age of my daughter...or not coincidentally!) of removing myself from this world, I sincerely yearn for it. I need discussion, and a collaborative passionate setting.  And who better to center this around than my friends? Given a great opportunity, some friends and I helped form a monthly "Film Club". I have been so overwhelmingly excited about this! To many, it may just be a small gathering with food and fun, but it's something that I thirst for. We watched HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT for the first showing, and I was definitely the only person smiling ear-to-ear. Everyone was a so caught up in the horrible details of this mind-twisted fake romantic comedy. It was absolutely delightful watching everyone feel the film! 

I may not be have millions of hits on my YouTube channel, or watch my coworkers walk across the stage at the Academy Awards, but I'm happy. I have found a balance and have learned that I need to nurture my passions. 

A Nasty Update

WARNING: This post is gross. It's hilarious, but may not be your cup of pee, I mean tea... :) It's entirely for the eyes of my friend Brianne who has a PhD in digestive situations. ha! But anyone is welcome to read if (if you really want to!) P.S. I'm terribly sorry if this changes the way you think about me. You probably didn't know I'm actually 12 years old.

Dear Brianne,

So on the first day of potty training Ryan and I waited and waited for that golden moment when Jayden would either successfully drop her dumpage or we'd walk into a room to find it in a neat dog-like pile. Jayden had other plans and just skipped it altogether. So we reluctantly put her to bed.

On Day two you could tell she really had to poo. She would run around for a second, then run back to her potty with a scared look on her face, wait a minute, give-up, run around more then back to the potty. This cycle continued for sometime.

At one point she was sitting on her potty sideways and looking at me with scared eyes. Her little frame started to shake and she was slightly whining. This went on for some time till all of a sudden she stood up! There was a little poo on the seat. The poor girl was pushing against it the whole time! We started to get really excited and cheer, but she was still really scared. Her little body did a fast little squat and then she was back up and smiling ear to ear! Sure enough, she left another little gift.

What a little rebel. She still hadn't gone in the potty! :)

Anyways Brianne, I thought you'd enjoy... You and Jayden would be great friends. ;)

The beginnings of Potty Training

Having to teach your kid how to poop is a joke. Describing to my two-year-old how to control your bowels is more complicated than it should be.

Potty training requires some serious thinking. 

I was scared to death of potty training little miss jay. I've heard my share of horror stories from friends of their children relapsing and refusing. Ryan and I skillfully set aside LDS Conference as our clothes-free, home-bound, towels-everywhere, child-stalking weekend. 

For a couple weeks we prepared Jayden with the idea of not wearing diapers anymore. We started Saturday morning and let the little booger run around free as we chased her down with watchful eyes. Naturally we started out with 4 accidents (after which we decided to make potty training an outdoor activity). The first success was nothing short of a miracle. During the opening prayer of Conference, we literally said "Amen" when we heard that little jingle of music to our ears.

Who knew that that tinkle sound is so beautiful? That while your eating dinner and your naked 2-year-old screams and runs to the training potty conveniently located in the same room and finishes her business while you eat makes you smile from ear to ear instead of throw-up?! 

She's actually doing a phenomenal job! I cringe a bit while saying that because I know I'll be eating my words sometime in the near future...But for now she responsibly heads to the potty for every number and makes it in. We've had no more than 2 accidents a day (most happening outside after activities like "Mommy! I'm running!"...30 laps later...). Then again, today was day 3. 

I'm kind of scared of going out. I think the only option right now is to use pull-ups as soon as we leave the door. I just can't keep the image of pee running down Jayden's legs and through every nook and cranny of a Target shopping cart until it noisily and noticeably hits the floor out of my head. 

But I would really, really like to know how YOU handled this (assuming you've potty trained a kid or two). When were you ok with going out without the pull-up? Should I be worried about Jayden getting used to no potty training responsibility when outside our home? Advice is much appreciated! :)

Prodigy? I think so.

So after months and months of searching and hard decision making, we are pleased to announce that Jayden has finally chosen her profession! As evidence by her large belly, her ginormous food intake is forcing us into the beautiful world of child labor. So now for her debut...

Jayden. The rapper.

Those who wish to invest please contact her manager, Shelby Selu at 214.801.7030.

Name suggestions are welcome.

Cows & Clowns: Happy Halloween!

You know that weird time in-between your trick-or-treating candy-devouring childhood and watching your kids walk up that porch? What did you do? College: Dress up as cute as you can. Avoid the slut attire, also avoid severe witch hideousness. Attention please? Married: Talk with your friends for weeks about what your going to be. Ward Halloween party? Maybe. But on the night of All Hallow's Eve you definitely skip that other party and instead spend it with Brianne, Tyson, Whitnee & Kimmy at home. Those days were fun, but you couldn't help but feel like your not making the most of the night-of Halloween's magical sugar-filled moments that kept you counting down the days when you were a kid.

Halloween Memories

Kindergarden: I was a princess wearing my aunt's old 1970's middle school dance dress. What I remember most is my little sister Brittany being insanely adamant about being a cow. She HAD to be a cow. So my Mom made her a cow. 

7th Grade: I noticed boys and consequently had a desire to look pretty. I remember thinking "I'll show them...Halloween is my chance..." I think I had a Roger Rabbit's girl friend look in mind. The result is embarrassing. Ends up nearly all my Halloweens revolved around my Aunt Lynelle's old choir/prom/church dresses. 

Highschool Sophomore: I decided to switch from pretty to funny. At EFY that year some friends and I performed the "Burger King Song" in front of a few hundred kids (I'm not sure how that happened? It had to offend quite a few people...especially in a church setting...it really was funny though). Anyway, I thought I was pretty funny and quite proud of my performance which equals an encore on Halloween.

I'm not completely aware of Ryan's Halloween history, so let's throw in a photo of him...

I love this picture SO much! It's so him. 

So you see all this magic happening right here? How happy we were? This year we finally had a chance to relive (vicariously) our childhood Halloween. 

Jayden LOVED Halloween. She got it. She understood that if she delivered as much cuteness as possible, she would be rewarded. Here we are on the way to our friends' house...

P.S. Jayden is a clown.

I was completely thrilled that she kept her hat on the whole time! Her general approach to each house started with a "teehetree" (delivery varies), grabbing a handful of candy (unfortunately for her a handful is like 1 piece), sometimes a thank you (which sounded nothing like "thank you"), and then blowing kisses and we descended their porch. There were a few people who flipped out about how cute she looked, which can't help but make you think as a parent "See? I'm NOT bias!" One group of ladies started hooting and hollering and told her to grab extra. She dropped her bag and dug in deep and grabbed like 3. As we walked away I heard one say, "She is the cutest thing I've ever seen! That made my night!" Ok. I'll stop now. Hearing parental bragging is so annoying. But common, just give me one little paragraph! For the sake of Halloween...and that little smile...

When we finished Ryan let Jayden indulge a bit on the lawn. After each piece she did a little jig. Trust me, if you would have seen it you would call it a jig. 

So here is the beginning of the sugar high. This is how you find out what your children would look like if they went mad.

So after too much candy, one tantrum over someone's front door swing, one lost shoe and a toddler who talked, laughed, and ran all over her crib before passing out asleep, I would call Halloween 2012 a complete success. :)

While you're freezing...

This is one of my favorite times of year. Everyone in my family calls me everyday complaining about the frozen tundra of Utah while we bask in lovely 70° Texas weather till Christmas (ignore how I'm writing this post during an abnormally 40° weekend...not relevant...). So in honor of the snow all over your car, throwing all your clothes in the dryer in a desperate attempt to get warm, and your silent prayers on I-15 that you won't be the next car to hit black ice, here are some pictures of my daughter swimming!

I love this floaty! This is the first time I let go of her this summer, and by the end she was jumping off the steps and swimming around with no help! I hope this is a good start for swimming without a floaty in the future.

She is so much warmer than you right now.

Have a good winter! I know we will. :)

p.s. Please be sure to forget about this post and my mean bragging come next June.

Janna & the Beach

I told a lot of my friends that my sister-in-law was coming in town. "Oh is that a good thing?", they asked. Um, it might be the best thing that's happened to me. You have no idea, I love (and I mean LOVE) my sister-in-law Janna! She is like sparkles and sunshine poured into a delicious frosty.

I apologize in advance Janna

So this little girl came and visited us in Dallas for 10 whole days! She is so fun, and easy to talk to, and we have so much in common. While she was in town, we took a little trip to the coast and stayed in Galveston a few days. Say what you want about Galveston, but we thought it was SO fun, and clean, and comfortable, and it was even better that we didn't have to drive 4 more hours to get to the beautiful beaches of south Texas.

We spent most of our time at the beach across the street from our hotel on the seawall, i.e., Porretto Beach.

DAY 1

We arrived fairly late in the afternoon and Jayden was crazy tired from missing her nap during the drive (doesn't sleep in cars). We literally pulled up to the hotel, got out of the car, looked at the ocean and saw a school of dolphins leaping in the air! Jayden flipped out and has been quite interested in dolphins since (when we returned home a few days later she would take a stuffed dolphin she never seemed to care about before and drive it around the ground making car noises, ha!) She wasn't quite tolerant of the ocean that day, but instead obsessed over her umbrella stroller. 

I finally got her to turn the stroller in for a shovel and pail. 

The ocean was incredibly peaceful that day; nearly no waves. It nearly rocked us to sleep, and Ryan and Janna spent forever laying the shallow waters. 

DAY 2

In the morning we took a walk on the beach to Pleasure Pier, which is apparently not a brothel (as it may sound) and definitely closed on the only day we chose to go. The ocean this day was a completely different sight, with crazy waves and wind. Janna and I went out and continuously got carried away by the strong current and crushed by the waves. It was so fun! There was no one in sight, except for a young couple in love which we purposely kept getting closer to, and telling them to wait up just for the fun of it (for some reason they didn't love it?). 

We finally took Jayden out with us and she loved it to! Every time a wave came she would yell "WAVE!" and laugh hysterically when she saw her Dad overreact and fall as if the wave was too much for him (she's obviously stronger and more capable). We were too busy having fun so pictures are limited...

Here's a quick video of Jayden's waddle run, just because :)

That night we enjoyed a Mexican dinner at an old restaurant in the area. Jayden entertained us with those crazy smiles you saw in our last post. 

DAY 3

(last day)

Naturally we spent our last morning at the beach, but it was quite cold so we mostly enjoyed the sun. Jayden and Ryan worked on their sand resort, and Janna and I walked in the ocean a bit. 

This is what happened after I said, "Ryan smile next to your sand resort!"

Jayden and Dad hard at work

Jayden decided she didn't want her cheese-its so of course she started just throwing them all over the place. There were like 3 cheese-its on the ground and tons, and I mean TONS of seagulls, crows, and pigeons show up to battle. 

I'm pretty sure she thought she had power to control them.

I was starting to think so too...

This video makes me laugh so hard!

So we really, really had a great time! We knew it would be lots of fun, but the trip definitely exceeded our expectations. I highly recommend Galveston for a quick family trip. And I also recommend Janna as sister-in-law. :)